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royzieglerh70
(@royzieglerh70)
Bookworm AP Lit 2020
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March 17, 2020 11:36 am  

I had just as much of a tumultuous experience in writing my haiku during Chisnell's absence as many other people, but thought that it would still be fun to share them on the discussion boards just to see what others came up with. My main goal in writing this was to convey the original talking point of our class surrounding horror, which was how we seemingly cannot look away from the things which fascinate and terrify us. I feel that the main purpose of horror is to command attention to our own passive destruction. It’s an overwhelming sense of fascination with our own shameful, reactive empathy. 

 

as a stranger’s blood stains our eyelids,

we open wide and stare, drawn

 

to the crimson concrete, convinced

of the sermon in the suicide.

 

we yearn to wipe our tears in the flames

as we take a match to scorch the sidewalk,

 

then light ourselves on fire

to cover the smell.


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zrosario002
(@zrosario002)
Bookworm AP Lit 2020
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Posts: 126
March 17, 2020 3:31 pm  

I changed my haiku a bit from the one I read in class. I took some of the word-change suggestions given and hopefully it's a little more interesting. Chisnell was right in saying that it sounded a bit cliche with the whole "corruption" theme so I tried to venture into different and more impactful ways of saying the same thing.

Do you guys think it's better or is it too similar to really be different?

 

Here's the original:

 

A darkness revealed

That was present the whole time

We try to ignore

 

The true horror is

Within the human heart, souls

Corrupted from start

 

Here's the new version:

 

A darkness revealed

      Present the whole time

We try to ignore

 

The true horror is

 Attached to the human heart, 

     A parasite

Souls mutilated from start

 

 


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bigbruh101
(@bigbruh101)
Gnome AP Lit 2020
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March 17, 2020 9:14 pm  

@zrosario002

i think you did a great job of simplifying your poem down and I still got the same idea of what you were trying to perpetuate on the horror idea. I think you could simplify it even further by taking out "the" and maybe changing "mutilated" to a word with less than four syllables but then again these are just suggestions. Here is my new haiku:

 
Let me know what you think ***

 


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Meredith Prevo
(@mereprevo)
Gnome AP Lit 2020
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March 20, 2020 11:47 pm  

Looking back on my poem, I think I was trying a bit too hard to remove words like "the", "a", or "and" that I could have changed my vocab around slightly. When writing this, the idea I had in mind was Kurtz's last moments, sitting there in sick, waiting for it all to end.

 

"Unresponsive commitment,

No word, no mission

Alone to self enlighten."

 

 

Oh, the horror.


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zrosario002
(@zrosario002)
Bookworm AP Lit 2020
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March 21, 2020 2:22 pm  

@mereprevo

I actually kind of like how you took away all of those extra words. It allows the reader to interpret it in different ways instead of just giving them the theme and meaning of the poem on a silver platter. Reading it, it reminds me of what Chisnell was saying about the definition of what a haiku actually is. It's a poem that takes away any unnecessary or non-beautiful words, and you seem to have done this successfully, so good job!

This post was modified 2 months ago by zrosario002

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royemmis25
(@royemmis25)
Bookworm AP Lit 2020
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Posts: 143
March 26, 2020 1:51 pm  

I want to join in the fun too! Here is my Haiku, I haven't yet revised it though. Hope y'all like it.

 

Roots dissolving slowly

Broken by disgust of oneself,

Too late. Horror within escapes


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bigbruh101
(@bigbruh101)
Gnome AP Lit 2020
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March 26, 2020 7:59 pm  

I'm adding a haiku about the current situation here. Let me know what you guys think. I tired to convey my angst emotions from being cooped up and I think this shows it pretty well. If there's anything that I can add or chop let me know.

Abyss:

Feels like a cage.

No escape.

Boredom, and monotony,

Inevitable.

Morals corrupt,

we are afraid.

We have found ourselves,

in this darkness.

Only the beginning.

 

This post was modified 2 months ago by bigbruh101

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bigbruh101
(@bigbruh101)
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March 26, 2020 8:07 pm  

@royemmis25

I think you did a great job of simplifying your haiku very well. I got a good grasp on the concepts you were trying to illustrate on what the horror is and I like how you arrived to a kind of "punchline" at the end of the haiku. I like how you phrased your last line but maybe considering splitting that up into two lines to fit the format of the haiku for the style. When i read haikus I kind of look for an "epiphany' so to speak and I think you did that super well to strike a kind of emotional appeal. Well done.

 


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